And thus, I eat my own words

So I was wrong. Wrong! I'm not perfect. However, as of D23, there are a few lights that have been shed on us that have forced me to acknowledge the fact that any speculation I've had in the last month has been wrong.

As most of you know, D23 held a conference concerning the theme parks yesterday, and 2 MAJOR points were brought up (pretty much the only points). There were a ton of rumors that circulated concerning the Expo's conference, and I felt it was necessary to address the BIG one that was popular amongst the rumor-mongers: a Fantasyland expansion. "The size makes no sense," I said. "Where's the money to pay for it?" I thought it was preposterous. So naturally the Expo comes along and kicks me swiftly in the ass.

Yes, there WILL be a complete overhaul of Fantasyland. Hell, "overhaul" doesn't even begin to describe it.

Essentially, Fantasyland will become something more in touch with, well....fantasy. From the press release:

"Guests will soon be able to:

• Visit their favorite Disney Princess in her castle, cottage, or chateau to share a dance with Cinderella; celebrate Sleeping Beauty's birthday with the Good Fairies; or join Belle in an enchanting story performance in the Beast's castle library.
• Be Our Guest and dine in one of three enchanted rooms inside the Beast's castle.
• Fly with Dumbo high above brand new circus grounds, twice the size of the existing attraction with a new interactive, three-ring circus tent.
• Journey under the sea with Ariel, The Little Mermaid, in her very own attraction - also opening at Disney's California Adventure in Anaheim in 2011.
• Meet Tinker Bell and her friends in the magical world of Pixie Hollow."

Sounds pretty nifty, even though I probably won't spend a shitload of time there, seeing as to how I'm allergic to children and all. The Dumbo ride itself sounds pretty fucking awesome, though, and the idea of (according to wdwnewstoday.com) a ride that is "completely queue-less with a waiting area set up with bleachers for parents...waiting until their feather is called" sounds like a helluva way to avoid waiting in the heat. Also, the concept art for Ariel's Adventure looks like it will a beautifully-themed ride. All in all, I'm excited for this change to take place, because the Fantasyland area definitely needs some pizazz. As long as Philharmagic stays put, I'll be a happy camper. Again, I don't have kids or anything, so I don't expect to spend a lot of time here, but it most certainly will become the best-themed land in MK once it's all done.

Also, "Star Tours II" was FINALLY announced, after what seemed like years of speculation. I, for one, am somewhat excited about this...somewhat. First, let's take a look at the teaser.

Now, when rumors began circulating concerning a new Star Tours, most of them were set on the idea of a podracing simulator. However, the last time anyone saw a podrace in one of the films was when Episode I came out, so needless to say those rumors quietly went away. This video, however, brings that idea back into the spotlight, and it makes me a little nervous. What if it is really just a podracing simulator?

Thankfully, I have an optimistic side.

Firstly, most of the news concerning this ride mentions that multiple adventures are to be had, and that the StarSpeeder would still be involved. Also, take a look at this press shot:

What does that look like on the right side? A motherfucking StarSpeeder. It's safe to assume the ride will probably have your shuttle take you to multiple locales, one of which being the middle of a podrace. It serves to explain why you go flying into space at the end of the trailer.

...And that was it. The end. Only those two. Unlike what MJ's website had reported, there is no official plan of bringing Captain EO back right now. It may be in talks, still, but it's all in the air. Also, EPCOT (as usual) got the boot; it seems that EPCOT and Animal Kingdom will be stuck while these other two projects are underway. For now, though, it appears as though the parks will be a little busy for the next two years.

A small update

It's official: Captain EO is coming back to Disneyland. The official MJ website confirms:

http://www.michaeljackson.com/ar/node/200089

It'll be a limited engagement, so nothing to get too worked up about. I personally like the fact that this is happening; with any luck we'll be able to get it in EPCOT too, even if it's just for a season. Also, it'll be interesting to see how this all plays out toward HISTA. It's possible HISTA won't be coming back after EO's run, which could inevitably lead to its demise at EPCOT, as well. I guess we'll see....

Thoughts?

Let's talk about the elephant in the room

So there are rumors that Disney World will be receiving a healthy update over the next five years. an update that will literally transform an area in the Magic Kingdom into something nearly unrecognizable. I'm sure many of you are familiar with these rumors. If not, I'll recap: Disney management is apparently going to stick a shitload of cash into Fantasyland and watch it evolve into a newer, better Fantasyland - as if money were a moonstone. These rumors actually started floating around several years ago, and they've appeared to go full-speed ahead, so I feel like I should share some thoughts. First, let's take a look at what the extensive rehab entails, via WDW News Today:

"Since WDW News Today launched in July 2007, we have reported on rumors that a Little Mermaid dark ride attraction was coming to Fantasyland to replace Pooh’s Playful Spot and Ariel’s Grotto. It is important to keep in mind that this rumor pre-dates any formal announcement that Disney’s California Adventure would be building this long-proposed Disneyland Paris attraction. It seems likely that construction will begin soon in the Magic Kingdom, and the announcement by Disney a few months ago that they were looking for a “one-Disney” experience only bolsters the idea of this voyage “under the sea” taking place on both coasts. If this major addition takes place, it will most likely do more than add a major E-Ticket to the park in late 2011/early 2012, but will also add a large Disney Princess store and meet-and-greet area at the attraction exit (thus allowing the Princesses to leave the perhaps doomed Mickey’s Toontown Fair). This large addition may also force “Dumbo: The Flying Elephant” attraction to move to a new location. If the Little Mermaid dark ride comes to be, we can expect the remainder of the Fantasyland expansion to take place over the 4-5 years following, including: a Mad Tea Party with a new covering reminiscent of Disneyland Paris, the replacement of Snow White’s Scary Adventure with a “Beauty and the Beast” dark ride, and the addition of a Seven Dwarves Mine Train roller-coaster on the land now occupied by the old Fantasyland Skyway building. Also amid the rumored changes for Fantasyland are new facades for most Fantasyland attractions, shedding the “medieval fair” setting, and new visual effects and upgrades being added to both The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan’s Flight.

A competing (perhaps more current) concept follows the floor plans below (found on the Disney Report’s Soft Opening Blog), also adding Princess and Fairy themed areas with minor attractions while removing the entire north side of Mickey’s Toontown Fair. This plan also has Snow White’s Scary Adventure saved by building the Beauty and the Beast dark ride next door to a proposed “Gaston’s” restaurant. This would terminate the castle forecourt theme with a wall leading into the “deep woods” and lands themed to Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Dumbo, and Winnie the Pooh. This plan also includes similar upgrades (mentioned in the first paragraph) to the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, with a new facade matching the look of the Hundred Acre Woods and a new Pooh character meet and greet area across the path. I had not seen this particular version of the plans before this week, but they are quite a bit larger than the plans I had spoken about above, making me skeptical as to how genuine this drawing actually is. We’ll just have to sit back for a little while and wait to see when and where construction walls eventually rise in Fantasyland."

Did you get all that? Good.

First off, let me put this out there: as you may have noticed, I made the word "rumor" in bold throughout this entry. This is because I'm incredibly skeptical that all - if any - of this is going to come to fruition. This is exactly like that Project Gemini shit from 5 years back - the rumored rehab that would change literally every pavilion in the Future World area. The mere mention of "Time Chasers" today sends some into a coma. There is no official word, aside from a blueprint.

So what? This may very well have been fan-made. It's been done before. Which brings me to the first of my reasons to be skeptical about this project: the size makes NO FUCKING SENSE. Is it just me, or does it seem absolutely impossible to fit ALL of this into Fantasyland without fucking destroying parts of every touching land? True, most rumors cite that a chunk of Toontown will be destroyed to make way for the area, but that's not enough space. Someone (brilliantly) took this blueprint and layed it over an aerial shot of Fantasyland. Take a peek (from screamscape.com):

Yes, it COULD work. But this, again, is just a blueprint - and it's not even official! Even if it were, it still doesn't mean that every one of these proposed ideas will meet this sense of scale. The Mermaid attraction may very well end up needing twice the space it was planned for. Likewise, it may end up needing less. It's all up in the air.

Point 2) The money. Does Disney really have the kind of dough to afford this kind of renovation? We know Disney is fucking cheap. They refuse to spend a minimal amount to paint the fucking walls at the Maelstrom. So why spend so much on just one sector of a park? The big reason floating around is Harry Potter....the son of a bitch. Universal Studios Florida is using the Islands of Adventure park to create a space dedicated to "The Wizarding World" of this iconic character. I can't begin to say how smart of a business move this is, considering the popularity of the films (and even the novels, 2 years after book 7) is at a high. Disney is worried. This will surely drive away ticket sales, and send Orlando tourists to the cheaper, newly-updated Universal. But is it a cause for concern? Again, I'm a wee skeptical that Disney would pour money into 1/6th of Magic Kingdom just to combat the possible shift in tourism to Universal for a park roughly the same size as that 1/6th of land. Even so, WWoHP will open in roughly 2010. Groundbreaking began in 2007. Disney hasn't even announced any plans for a plan. Even if they hit the ground running and got at least ONE new attraction running by then, it'd still just be one attraction. Another money-related issue circulating (mainly at the forums at wdwmagic.com) is the threat of Disney shelving plans for other projects in other parks. Will this mean that the Monsters, Inc. Doorway Coaster won't happen? Of course not. Disney built Pixar place with plans for more than just Midway Mania. It's long been known the plans to turn Soundstage 1 into a coaster based on the hit film. It'd be foolish for Disney to shelve this one project alone in favor of the Fantasyland redux, let alone the rest of the planned attractions.

This project would alienate the rest of Magic Kingdom, as well as the rest of WDW for many years. But still, I won't believe anything until I hear an official announcement. It still makes no sense that, in the midst of a very expensive refurb for Space Mountain, and smaller refurbs for other shows (Ed. - Living With the Land? What the fuck? Thanks for telling us, guys...) they would have the money or the time to work on something this big. Maybe we'll get one or two of the planned attractions - The Little Mermaid dark ride has been in the rumor mill for a few years now - but I doubt there's anything to get our panties in a twist.

Long Live the King

As everyone in the entire world knows, Michael Jackson died just over 2 weeks ago. Therefore, I know I'm a little late to the party in remembering him, but later is better than never, and I feel like I need to say something.

Michael Jackson was the zenith in a world of entertainers. It's been said before: "He was simply the greatest entertainer of all time." No other artist inspired a generation is so many ways, but with seemingly so little effort. He was already a juggernaut at age 10, but his performance of "Billie Jean" at Motown 25 is what triggered his evolution into an unstoppable force of nature. He was catapulted into orbit, they say, and never came down.

Some of you may think I'm writing this to lead into a joke about "Captain EO", or the only reason I'm writing this entry is because of the show. It's true, his connection to Disney was strong and unmentionable without speaking of the incredibly popular show. But I don't really think about "EO" all too much when I think of his connection to Disney. Instead, I think of the 23-year old performer in an interview on the set of "Beat It". He discussed his love of Disney at length, and his having a room that replicates a scene from "Pirates of the Caribbean". He was endlessly fascinated with the magic and wonder of the theme parks, films, and characters the company created. I'm not just sad we've lost the perfect entertainer - I'm also sad that we've lost a fellow Disney enthusiast.

The fact that the world will never have another Michael Jackson makes this artist's passing the ultimate instance of not knowing what you have until it's gone. He ws a man of genius, dedication, talent, and purity who gave so much and only asked of so little. His music will live forever, and I know that he, much like Walt, left us too soon.

Let me know!

Before I say anything on this short entry, let me point out a small rumor that's been making the rounds for a few days. According to the boards at wdwmagic.com, Stitch's Supersonic Celebration is set to be closed.

A moment of silence for the greatest fucking rumor to appear in months.

Now, to the point: I'm considering expanding the blog a wee bit, and one of the bigger ideas I'm toying with is podcasting.

So, a query: If a "Project X" podcast were in existence, who all would listen? The response I get will probably have a large impact on whether I choose to do this or not. So let me know.

UPDATE: In response to a comment, I'll clarify a bit: The podcast would have a strict schedule, so don't expect infrequent posts in the vein of this blog. I'll be shooting for a weekly/bi-weekly show.

Wayne Allwine: 1947-2009

We meet again, my furry blue friend...

Well, here it is, via WDWNewsToday:



Hm.

Ok, a few things. First of all, Tomorrowland needs to be saved. Like fucking NOW. It's slowly losing what made it Tomorrowland, and the only thing left there that actually represents the area properly is Carousel of Progress. The rest is just Stitch and (the unbelievably misplaced) Monster's Inc. But aside from that, this show is pretty much what I expected. It's devoid of any real story or decently memorable entertainment, and is instead something to keep the 2-year-olds giggling. All the while you, the adult needing something to do until that Buzz Lightyear fastpass is good to go, stands and watches uncomfortably as you feel like someone is threatening your life if you don't dance. You don't - yet you're still really uncomfortable, and pray that fucking projection of Stitch doesn't call you out in front of everyone.

Ahem.

I was unsurprised at the host who overdid it to the point where I hoped he would be evaporated by those fucking robots, and who also came off like a sketchy dude who has a secret second life. There were the aforementioned robots who - again, I'm unsurprised - danced to a song that Disney got to use for barely any money. Finally, there's Stitch. To be completely honest, I chuckled once at a moment a little after two minutes into that video, and that's about it. To be honest, I'm getting really tired of this digital puppetry craze going around the Disney property. The show pretty much revolves around it, and it shows that the technology is still too shaky to use as a centerpiece. Have you seen "MILF"? And no, I'm not talking about your mom...right now. I'm talking about the Laugh Floor show, where most of the digital puppets looks like they're foreign film characters dubbed over. It's a great concept, yes, but it needs to be refined before we're turning the whole park into something along these lines. Speaking of, apparently Disney is planning on doing that. 'Scuse me while I kill myself.

In an article on MiceAge, Al Lutz talked about a new, "next-generation" RFID program to be used in Fantasyland (as a start). The program apparently would require guests to "fill out a survey form prior to their arrival, and then that information would be downloaded onto the RFID tag embedded in their tickets."

Two problems with this: 1) I don't know if many people would do it, especially the amount of people needed to justify this kind of change to the area. 2) Is this just for resort guests? What about people who purchase tickets at the front of the parks? The article mentions the survey as "prior to their arrival", so it must be something only set up for people who have a full vacation plan. Sucks for you, everyone else!**

I don't know. I'm probably reading too far into this. I'm sure they'll iron out whatever shit needs to be ironed out between now and when the ball gets rolling. I'm hoping that never happens, though, because this whole technology, again, is shaky. For anyone who's seen the "E.T. Adventure" at Universal Studios, the program is a little awkward. Sometimes E.T., in his old age, forgets to mention your name. Or he'll switch up the names of your car's passengers with another's. Sure, it's sometimes the ride technician's fault, but it's all in the technology being used. So imagine what can go wrong if Disney unveils a super-advanced version of this tech to use on a shitload of Fantasyland rides. Like digital puppetry, it's a great idea, but we can all presume that Disney will try to rush it into the parks before it's totally (or more than just "pretty") reliable.

I know that's alot of shit to digest, but to put it simply, Disney is yet again riding the gimmick wave. I can already see this failing. Also, aren't most of the rides in Fantasyland cheapish dark rides? Having a wooden Snow White that sways from side to side saying your name and asking how Manchester is doesn't have the same impact as if Figment were to say it.

Which (final point, I promise) makes me wonder: Are they only going to do this in the Magic Kingdom? Because aside from "Imagination!" in EPCOT Center, there are pretty much zero rides with speaking animatronics on them in WDW. Odd, right? Sure, there's "Dinosaur" or "Universe of Energy", but those are dinosaurs. This isn't "We're Back", dinosaurs don't fucking talk. You sure as hell can't have them address you in a 3D show; there are too many people. That just leaves Magic Kingdom, really. Maybe Mr. Potato Head in the line for "Midway Mania", but that's about it. Have they really thought this through?

WHEW.

OK, Andy Rooney-esque rant = done. I'm about to bring this bitch home, but let me wrap up by saying that I am NOT 23. Nor do I plan on being 23 anytime soon. Yes, the website has some occassionally nice articles, but the price to be an official member is almost as outrageous as this membership price. It's a blatant grab for cash in these economic troubling times, and I don't plan on drinking the Kool-Aid. I'm just fine reading my old copies of Disney Magazine, thank you.

**UPDATE: So, upon further review of the MiceAge article, it is pointed out that "WDI and TDA both see the ballooning population of Annual Passholders (APs) in Southern California as a prime audience for this technology," and "WDI has been scoping out scenes and specific animatronics in some of Anaheim's major E Ticket attractions to mock up concepts where an RFID tag in an Annual Pass would trigger special acknowledgements and plot twists for Passholders." Guess what, this idea FUCKING BLOWS. Plot twists? What? "Oh, guess what! Turns out the entire time, Aerosmith was dead! Thank God for that Annual Pass! Now the whole attraction makes sense!" Who will pay that much for a fucking talking plank that somewhat resembles Pinocchio to say your name and thank you for paying Disney so they could afford to open ANOTHER HORRIBLE RIDE?
Chalk up another money-pissing plan for Disney! Hats off to you, you stupid bastards!

...I need a nap.